Well, this weekend has finally come! The women's retreat. I know that when Sunday afternoon rolls around, I will be SO relieved that it's over. I have planned this whole thing, so I'm REALLY hoping everything goes smoothly and comes off without a hitch. Thank goodness my job allows for a lot of 'free time' so i was able to put most everything together at work... and I had a ton of help from several women from our church, THANK YOU! I just can't help but feel a bit nervous. And going away for the weekend makes me nervous anyway, because I really miss my hubby!
Yesterday, a friend of ours delivered her baby boy early in the morning. However, she was only 20 weeks pregnant, so the baby did not survive being out of the womb. His name is Brennan Michael White, and it literally breaks my heart. I seriously can NOT imagine what that feels like or all the emotions that come along with something so horrific. Especially being pregnant... my heart aches for her loss. I'm not going to lie, it also makes me VERY nervous about my pregnancy. My next doctor appointment is next week, so hopefully she'll be able to set my mind at ease... or at least somewhat at ease. After the first trimester, I felt like i was in 'the clear' because miscarriage statistics go way down after the first twelve weeks... but I guess nothing is guaranteed, and if anybody should know that... I guess it should be me. My thoughts and prayers go out to the parents.
March is a hard month anyway. March 11 is the day I lost my dear brother. It has been four years since I last saw and talked to him. In some ways it feels like yesterday, and at the same time, feels like a life time ago. I miss him terribly...and that's putting it mildly. A friend of mine said something to me the other day that made me smile, and I had never thought of it this way before... she said: 'it's so cool to think that Josh already knows your son.' And i guess that's true... and very cool. Kyla and my mom came to have lunch with me last week when i was under the weather, and Kyla said: 'Sarah, did you know we have two Josh's now? One is in heaven, and we miss him, and one is in your tummy!' She always asks me how Joshua is doing, and that she's excited to meet him. Gosh that kid... I can't help but get tears in my eyes every time she talks about Josh.
We are having an open house on the 11th around 6pm, at my parents house. We're all just going to hang out and anyone is welcome to join us. It's nice to know and see the people that still love and cherish Josh, and his memory.
Little Joshua is moving around quite a bit. I had my glucose test on Tuesday, and after drinking that sugary drink, he was doing somersaults inside my belly! I got a call from the doctor saying that everything turned out great, but my iron level is still a bit low, so I need to start taking supplements twice a day. I was brushing my teeth in a white (semi-snug) tank top... of course there aren't many shirts that aren't 'snug' anymore! anyway... and I was looking at my stomach in the mirror, and I couldn't help but smile! It's so crazy how my body has transformed... it's such a miracle. Amazing how God created us isn't it? I'm 28 weeks on Sunday... the end of my second trimester! INSANE. I'm starting to get a little nervous about the whole delivering process... yikes! I can't believe it's going to be ME having to go through all that.
Jude is so amazing... and I love him SO much. I'm so excited to be parents together, and raise our kids. I just get all warm and fuzzy when I think about how lucky I am to have him as my husband.
OK, that's all for now :) talk about a roller coaster of emotion huh?
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