a little bit overwhelmed

First, a sidenote: In two weeks, we will be having another baby. Just let that sink in for a minute!

Holy Moly!

I'm a part of a women's bible study/mentor program right now, and I absolutely love it! It's so nice to go and be encouraged by women who have been through "this" already, and have such great insight to make us better wives and mothers. This last Saturday, we talked about "Loving our Children" and I walked away feeling so overwhelmed by my job description! I found myself babbling like an idiot when Jude got home from work that day, telling him all that i had learned and all that I want to implement in our family.

I know Josh is still very young, but I think it's so important to start early!

We talked about how we, as parents, set the mood in our home, and is that mood joyful? Do our children feel safe and secure in our home? It should be a safe haven. How our children read our faces for reactions, and take cues on how they should react to certain situations. What kind of looks are we giving our child? And I know for a fact that Joshua already reads my face SO well! How do we want to be remembered as parents and grandparents? Children are a gift from God, and placed in our care. If we love our children, we have to trust that God loves them SO much more. Is the Lord building our house? We are commanded to teach our children the word of God. It's not a suggestion. They asked us to sit down and create five forever qualities that we think are important for our children. We talked about discipline, and consistency, and making sure they know their opinions and feelings matter but that we as parents are to be respected. The best way to lead, is by example. How to make our children feel special. Teaching manners, and what matters the most is how they behave when no one is watching. Memorizing scripture with our kids.

And that's not even everything that we talked about! Now can you see why I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed!? Don't get me wrong, I loved it, and to be honest, I'm kind of excited to start (continue) on this journey. I feel so blessed that God entrusted me with this job in the first place. With Him by my side, anything is possible... now i just have to believe that!

This world we live in is so different from the one I grew up in. And I really want to take the best from my parents example, and change some things as well. I desperately want my kids to remember me as loving them unconditionally. And i want them to love unconditionally as well. I don't want to be judgemental, and I want them to know that their thoughts and feelings are valid. I want them to know joy and hope and see the love between me and Jude. I want family time to be important, and valued. I want to be sensitive, and help them learn how to walk through heartache or pain or whatever hardship they have to go through, and know that I will cry with them. I want my kids to know they can come to me, no matter what. I want my children to be well behaved, and I want to enjoy their company. I want them to know Jesus, and trust Him.

I look at Joshua, and I love him so much. I know I've said this before, but I never thought I could love another human to this degree. I want to soak it all in, and cherish this stage of life. It changes every day, and I know he'll be grown in the blink of an eye. He is such a good boy, and now we have another one on the way! And I know that I will love and adore Isaac in the very same way. Their innocence is so precious to me. I look forward to this next stage of life. And I am up for the challenge to raise them the way God has commanded me to. I know I'm going to screw up, and I know sometimes I will fail... but I trust in God to pick up my slack! I will try my best to raise them in the way they should go, and when they are grown, they will not turn from it.

Who would have thought being a mom was such hard work ;)

Not sure why I thought of this just now, but...

I was so inspired by a speaker named Nick, and I can't remember his last name at the moment... but he was born with no arms or legs...?? Anyway, he was amazing, and i was in tears for most of his sermon. But the hope he has in Jesus is simply astounding. I felt like if I just lived with a TEENY, tiny bit of the hope he lives with, I would be made in the shade.

Just a cute picture :) This was taken a while ago, but I just love it!! My little Joshy :)

Bowling!!

I just had to share... we took Joshy bowling for the first time today, and it was SO cute! He was so excited, and every time he pushed the ball down the lane, he would turn around and hold his arms in the air and say "whoa!" It was precious! And even me, at 37 weeks pregnant, bowled! ha! I might pay for it tomorrow, it felt like quite a work out, but I'm so glad we went. I was kicking myself that I didn't bring my camera... but trust me, it was adorable to watch him bowl!

He also said "please" for the first time yesterday! He has always signed please, and I just kept trying to get him to use his words to say it, and it never kicked in, until yesterday! It's so cute, and he still rubs his belly while saying the actual word, which is adorable.

Isaac is running out of room I think. I'm so achey, it pretty much hurts to walk... which is annoying. I asked my doctor about that, because i didn't experience this with my first pregnancy, and she said it's normal for it to happen the more babies you have. Great right?! How do women have 4, 5, or 6 kids? I don't think I could do it! I'm trying to stay positive, and look on the bright side: at least i don't have to get up every couple hours at night to feed my newborn baby. I remember with Josh, I was SO anxious to have my baby, and then afterwards, I wondered why I was so stinkin' anxious! I just wanted to sleep! ha :)

I'm curious how things are going to change having two kids. I assume it'll be harder, and I'm probably going to have to rely on Jude for a lot more than I ever did with our first child. In some sense, I feel like I'm kinda starting over. Josh is pretty easy, for the most part, and now I'm going all the way back to the starting line! And will I want to do it again, and have a third baby?? I'm not entirely sure anymore :) Of course, I thought that after Josh too... and then somehow you forget all the hard times, and get pregnant again anyway! ha! I guess we'll just see what happens.

My baby shower last Sunday was so nice. I just really appreciate all of my friends and family. It's so nice to feel so loved, and to know how many people care about me and my growing family! It really means a lot to me. And now, I pretty much have everything I need for baby Isaac. We made some returns, and were able to get all the necessities. Now, I just need to go in and clean the room. It feels very dusty to me, so it shouldn't be too much work. I just want it to be nice and clean for him. Meanwhile, the rest of my house feels pretty dusty too, but I'm trying to focus on one thing at a time! My mom said she'd come over and help... so I'm glad I won't have to do it alone!

Jude is really enjoying being on his own at work! His stress level has come down a TON, and he's just happier now. I know it's hard on him, but when he's stressed, it's hard on me too! I feel so helpless, and wish i could do something to help him out! So, I'm about as relieved as he is ;)

Alright, that's all for now :)

Here's a 4D ultrasound picture of little Isaac. His little nose is kind of smushed...

wow, time flies when you're having fun

So, I've been so awful at keeping my blog updated through this pregnancy! Poor second children :) I'm very busy running after Joshua these days, and when i get a minute to myself, the last thing i want to do is get on the computer! So I'm sorry.

Isaac Jude is growing, and growing fast. I'm 36 1/2 weeks along now. We have a scheduled c-section on February 23, at 12:30pm. I'm hoping I don't go into labor before then! Both our baby boys will be born on the 23rd of the month... which is kinda cool i guess! We scheduled it for a Tuesday, just so Jude can have the most time off with me as possible. I'm going to need all the help i can get! At this point, I'm pretty ready to have this baby. Right now, pregnancy is just uncomfortable, and like I've said before... I think God made pregnancy the perfect amount of time, because by the end of it, you're READY to be done! You don't miss it! I've been lucky and had a very uneventful pregnancy. Our little boy is healthy, and everything looks great.

We got a 4D ultrasound of Isaac, and he looks SO much like little Josh did! We put the pictures together and it was hard to tell the difference! At least we know Isaac will be an adorable little boy :)

We've been busy getting Josh's big boy room put together and getting the nursery all ready for Isaac. Once it's done, I'll be sure to post pictures. We kept it the same, but we went with an airplane theme this time. Since the nursery was "outside" we thought it would fit just perfect, but also be a little bit different for our new baby boy. My mom has made an adorable airplane quilt, and made some wall hangings with airplanes and helicopters on them. Jude made some little wooden, toy airplanes too, which turned out great! We have them sitting on shelves.

My mom and sister are throwing me a baby shower this Sunday, which I'm excited about! It's always so fun to get together with friends who love you and love our little baby already. It's also nice, this time around, because i don't need nearly as much stuff as i did before. Which is much less stressful! I went through all of Josh's clothes, and organized them by size... who would have thought we had SO many clothes for just one little boy! They grow so fast, and with every season you need to buy new clothes for them to wear! It sure adds up! Hopefully Isaac and Josh will be on the same size/season :)

Jude's last day of his Field Training Officer Program is tonight! Can you believe it? It's been a long time coming! He will be on his own in his own patrol car starting this Sunday! He's looking forward to that! I'm so proud of him. He's worked so hard this past year to become a police officer, and provide for our family. I just can't tell you enough how PROUD I am of him. He was in the academy for 6 months, graduated on September 11, 2009 and then that next week started his FTO program at the city of Orange. He's been through 4 phases, and now he's done! The next step is getting through his probation (1 year). Jude was Class president in the academy, and at the graduation ceremony, he won the most prestigious award! It was so moving, i had tears in my eyes! He gave a speech and everything. Again... SO PROUD of him. I feel like our boys have such an amazing role model in Jude. I would be so happy for them to grow up and be just like their dad!

Joshua is growing up so fast. He's 20 months now, and everyday I look at him and think, how has my little baby gotten to be so big? He's talking a lot, saying lots of words. He throws and catches a football and basketball. He loves to watch and play hockey. He runs everywhere and just started jumping with both feet off the ground! This week, he started doing somersaults ... which is so fun to watch! He loves having his daddy home more often! Jude has three days off in a row now, and Joshy loves it! In the academy, some weeks he would work all 7 days, so now it's a much better change of pace. Joshy loves so deeply, and I can't tell you what it does to my heart when he comes up to give me a hug and a kiss, without me prompting! Before you become a mother, you have no idea the level of love that you will hold for your kids... it's simply amazing. I feel like i get a glimpse of what our heavenly father feels for us when i look at my son.

Josh is still not the best night time sleeper, but I've come to accept that. I just keep telling myself that one day, I'll have to drag him OUT of bed! ha! It's hard too, because he's gone through sickness, and teething...etc. I just keep hoping it'll get better and better. AND that's why I know that Isaac is going to be a great sleeper ;) I just keep speaking that into existence!

I was on my way home tonight with little Joshy, and for some reason, I thought about my brother. Luckily now, I can think about him and remember him without tears every time. But I remembered how he used to hug me really tight and kiss my cheek... to piss me off usually. And it wasn't just remembering, it was almost like i could feel him hug me while sitting in my car. The feeling was so strong, and it immediately brought a smile to my face. I remembered his facial hair scratching my cheek, and how tall and strong he was. An then I remembered how, when we were a little bit younger, I used to do the same thing to him. Hug and kiss him just to make him squirm. It brought me back to when i was 19 years old, living at home ... with absolutely no idea of what was to come... or how this life would unfold... and of course now, the tears are coming...

I miss my brother. It takes my breath away.

sorry to end on such a depressing note. I love when memories come to me, and I hope that somehow, I can show my kids how important it is to love each other. There is something so special about siblings, and I don't feel like I fully grasped that until "Uncle" Josh was taken from me.

And here are some pictures for your enjoyment :)

This is the three of us at Jude's graduation.

Josh and me in October, when we went to Oak GlenJoshy and Daddy by our christmas tree :)The whole family on Christmas Eve

well, well, well

I have some wonderful news! We are pregnant again! I'm only about 6 weeks... and yes, I'm a little nervous about telling everyone so early, but we figure, we'll need the support from friends and family if something goes wrong anyway. We didn't really expect to get pregnant so quickly... but it's funny how these things happen sometimes :) It was the first time we tried! Little Joshy, and his brother or sister will be about 21 months apart, just the same as me and my brother were. I'm really excited, and nervous too. It's going to be totally different being pregnant with a toddler, but I'm looking forward to the challenge! Speaking of little Joshy... he is just the cutest thing you've ever seen! My heart melts every time I look at him. He's walking and talking, and oh so cute! He's such a big boy now, and I never thought it was possible to love a little person SO much! He's such a smart kid, and is totally aware of everything you say to him. He is mommy's little helper!

Jude is in the academy, and half way done now! Yippee! He graduates on September 11th, and I'll just be out of my first trimester by then. I'm very happy that i won't be large during the summer months, we really couldn't have planned it better :) Jude is doing well, of course! And in the top 5 of his class. It's hard for him to be away so much, but we're making the best of it, and we see and end date in sight.

I haven't felt sick at all, just really tired lately. I feel like I'm cherishing the time I have with Josh even more now, because I know it's not just going to be the two of us for long. And I have to be honest, that kinda makes me sad. We've been partners the last several months, and i know this sounds silly, but I'm sad that he won't have my full attention. Ha! Even as I say that, it sounds funny, but it's true. I know he'll adjust just fine, it's just sad to think about right now for me... and that may be the hormones talking :)

Joshua is sleeping like an angel, and I'm SO glad I trained him how to sleep. I think with number 2, we'll do that much sooner than 9 months... with two kids, I think it'll be something i HAVE to do!

We are enjoying the pool very much, and trying to stay cool in this hot weather! We had a fabulous first birthday party for Joshua, and I can't believe it's over already. Time flies by! We did a "fun in the sun" themed pool party. Josh wanted nothing to do with the gifts, which surprised me!

Joshy got his first haircut a few weeks ago too, and now has 7 teeth!

Here's a picture of 'we three kings', on Josh's actual birthday. We went to Irvine park, just the three of us :)

That's all for now, I'll try to write more frequently :)

Teeth and exciting news!

I can't believe it's March already! Well, our little boy has teeth!! 3 teeth to be exact! I took him to his 9 month check up a week ago Tuesday, and she said four on the top are coming in, and that his gums were swollen. One of the top popped through, and he's got two on the bottom. And so far, there hasn't been any issues with breastfeeding. I heard from some moms that it's like starting all over when they get teeth... but I haven't had any issues at all... thank goodness :)

And the big news is: Jude is officially employed with the City of Orange, as a Police Officer Recruit. He starts the pre-academy on march 16, and the academy on March 30th! We are really excited and so thankful that everything moved so quickly. We feel really lucky. He got his hat and a bunch of other stuff last night, and it was fun taking pictures and putting his hat on Josh :) We are definitely blessed.

Last week, we were fortunate to spend some time with family from out of town. My aunt Rita and my cousin Jenny, and her son Mason were here for about a week. It was fun to see Mason and Joshua play together... they're only a month apart. We were busy, and made a trip to the beach last Saturday... and let me tell you, it was absolutely beautiful! Not crowded, not too hot... it was so fun, and Joshua LOVED it! It was lots of fun to be able to spend time with them, and we're sad that they're gone!

Joshua continues to babble like crazy, and now his favorite thing to do is point. He's getting really good at saying 'all done' in sign language, and 'more' too. we're working on 'please' and 'thank you'. He wants to walk, and i think he'll be there soon. He does crawl on all fours now, but he'd much rather hold one of your hands and walk around the house. Some friends of ours let us borrow a really cute little mini-wagon, and he walks all around pushing that thing. It's adorable. I just weighed him this morning, and he weighs 24 pounds... we recently had to get a different car seat, because he out grew the one we had.

It's so much fun, and I feel like he's really understanding what I say now, and he'll even do things I ask him to. He dances now too, which is amazing... and I really need to get that on film. He's been really interested in putting his toys into this little box... and then dumping them all out again. He pats my back when I give him a hug too... well not all the time, but sometimes. It's so fun to see him get bigger, and develop into a little boy. Sometimes I wish I could just squeeze him SO tight!

Just this week, we've been working on going to sleep on 'our' own. A friend of mine told me it would only take about a week to train him... so I started on Monday, and I haven't rocked him to sleep since. And let me tell you... it is so freeing. The first and second day were the worst... but now he doesn't cry for very long at all, and he's sleeping better through the night too! It's a win-win! It was getting to the point where I was getting up 4 or 5 times a night, and I was so tired of it. I kept making excuses as to why I shouldn't let him cry... but I think I reached the end of my rope and felt like I had no other option, unless I wanted to keep getting 4-5 hours of sleep per night. I really do think it's best for him and me, and he's learning to sooth himself and sleep! I can't help but feel proud of myself, and I kept thinking, when he's two years old, I do not want to have to rock him to sleep... or even if I get pregnant again, I can't be getting up all night long! So that's where we're at, and it feels good. For the first time in MONTHS, I've been able to sleep for 5 and 6 hours in a ROW! It's amazing!! Little mason helped convince my I think, because they started early with him, and he just hangs out in his crib for a couple minutes, and then he's out. So I'm looking forward to when Josh doesn't cry at all, and just knows that it's time for bed. Oh, and the last couple nights, I go in there, and turn off the lights, get his blanket, and pacifier, and Josh actually points to his crib and leans towards it... like he wants to go in there. I think that's a victory! :)

Anyway... He's already nine months old, and going to be 10 months old soon, and I'm still learning! I guess you're never done learning when you're a mom! :) And I absolutely love it. This is my dream job, and I'm so glad I get to stay home and be a mommy. I have my husband to thank for that... Love you honey!

So join me in congratulating my amazing Husband for his new job!! :) He deserves it!! And thanks to all of our family and friends for talking to the background investigators, and saying nice things about Jude :)

Thanks for reading... and here are some cute pictures of my little family :)

Jude bought Josh his first basketball... so cute!

Josh loves bath time :) and is now too big for the kitchen sink.

My little valentine.

Daddy playing video games... but I love the look Josh is giving me in this one!Joshua loves his cousin Cole.Naked baby :) and cute hubby :)Such a big boy now.Walking around like a pro!Pushing Mason in the wagon... adorable!At Orange County Zoo.Joshua loves his Grandpy.We took the boys on the train ride.Josh got Judes very first Orange PD sticker :)And was being a turd at this moment...Joshua in Jude's Police hat :) so cute!

I forgot...

When I wrote the last post, I forgot to mention all the new things Joshua is doing these days! He started feeling better finally, by the way... and now as he sleeps, he's coughing again, which is so frustrating. Anyway...

So, Joshua sits up all by himself, and I don't even have to put pillows behind him 'just in case' anymore. He's clapping, waving, saying 'all done' with sign language, pointing and exploring the use of his index finger, saying 'da da' and 'ma ma'... not really directing it at me or Jude, but we still like it! He babbles quite a bit, and I feel like every day he says new sounds. He feeds himself puffs, and eats them now without gagging! He still LOVES his walker, and has started actually running through the house in it now :) he's SO close to crawling... I really think he's a little bit behind with crawling, just because he'd much rather be in his walker, and get around that way. I've really tried to limit his time in the walker, and have him spend more time on the floor.

I think that's about it :) He still continues to be such a happy baby... and I'm so thankful for his health! I'm really praying this cough goes away without becoming serious again. Our baby boy is so big now... 8 months old! I can't believe it. I'm already starting to think about his first birthday! He's such a cute boy, and I just love him so much.

Ok, that's all for now :)

Wow, it's 2009!

Can you believe it's already a new year...? Christmas is over, and we're in 2009. That is unreal. Jude and I will be celebrating our 10th dating anniversary at the end of this month. Crazy!

Well, our baby boy is almost 8 months old now. And unfortunately, he's sick, once again. I thought that breastfeeding was suppose to help keep your baby healthy...? oh well, he's getting better now, with the help of antibiotics. I had to miss my friends baby shower today because he's still not doing well. What a bummer.

Our Christmas was awesome. I was kind of sad when it was all over, but also happy to get my house back to normal. I get tired of all the Christmas stuff. My most favorite part of Christmas, was on Christmas morning, when Jude, Josh and I were able to celebrate together. It was really fun, and just... great all the way around. We went to see Santa, and started some new traditions that we plan on keeping for future years to come. I was thinking back, and two Christmas' ago, we planned to start a family... then last Christmas, I was pregnant... this Christmas, we have a beautiful baby boy... I wonder what next Christmas will bring?? No, I'm not hinting at anything :) We sure have been blessed, and I can't even begin to express how thankful I am.

We rang in the new year with our friends, the Becketts, Freys and Parris'... and that was a lot of fun. Josh was a trooper and slept for most of it, and let mom and dad enjoy playing games with friends.

Jude took his very first Police Department test today for the City of Newport Beach, and he passed and has an interview on Thursday! He was so nervous, and Newport has a reputation of having the hardest testing around. He's so happy, as am I. This is just the first step, but we feel very encouraged all the same. He's been very diligent at working out and studying all he could. He's very motivated! I'm so proud of him, and knew he'd do an awesome job!

Here's some pictures of our big boy :)

Will took some great photos of us too... I'll have to post those some other time :)