growing boys...

well... where do i start? It's been very busy for us. Joshua's birthday party was great, we moved the first week of June, Isaac weighs 22 pounds, and now we are getting ready to leave on vacation tomorrow.

Josh is such a big kid, and amazes me how much he's grown! He's saying sentences now, and talking all the time! he'll say little catch phrases like: "watch this" or "oh man" too, which is so funny. he pretty much repeats everything he hears now, which is very dangerous! he loves our new house, and is outside all the time. It's so great that i don't have to worry about our pool anymore. He LOVES his baby brother so much, and always likes to help mommy take care of him ;) Discipline has been tough at times, but i really think he's catching on! ha! you know what they say about terrible twos! He's not really showing any interest in going potty on the big boy potty, so i'm not in any hurry. He's gone pee on the potty a couple times, and thinks that's pretty cool... but that's about it. he continues to impress us with his athletic skills :) He dribbles the basketball, and plays baseball... oh and football is one of his favorites. It's hard for me to get him out of his bronco jersey!

Isaac is such a sweetheart. He is big too! ha! Off the charts, and the nurse laughs every time we weigh him! He's wearing 12 month clothing now, and just cute as can be. He goes to sleep on his own now... i started quite a bit earlier with him than i did josh. I think i learned my lesson! he sleeps great at night, and naps are kind of hit or miss, it depends on the day i guess. He has TWO bottom teeth now, and loves to chew on everything. He just recently started "yelling"... that's the best way i know how to describe it. He just wants to be heard :) He's very easy going, and loves his big brother. He also loves daddy very much, and smiles at him all the time. Everybody else has to work for smiles from Isaac, but not daddy :) He's growing up so fast, and I find myself enjoying the stages more with Isaac, because i've learned through josh, that they don't last long at all.

We moved in June, and we absolutely love our new house. Once we were settled in, we couldn't think of anything that we missed about the old house... and that's a good feeling. We're in a great neighborhood, and we've made it our home. And, it is pretty cool to have such a great view from our backyard too!

Tomorrow, we leave for WA state! This will be both Josh and Isaac's first plane ride... and i'd be lying if i said i wasn't a little bit nervous about it! It's only a 2 1/2 hour flight, so i'm hoping they do well, and that we're not "those people" who have screaming kids on the plane! :) I'm really looking forward to my family meeting my boys, and for them to meet their great grandpa Zollner too. I think it'll be a great time, i am really looking forward to it!

Until next time :)

sorry, i tried to add photos, but it's not working right... I'll try again soon :)

I'm amazed...

My little boy is turning TWO this weekend, and I'm completely blown away by that! It's so hard to grasp... he's growing so fast! He just recently lost his baby belly, and has grown about 2 inches in height. He's talking all the time, and starting to put small sentences together too, which is so fun to listen to. He's SO excited for his birthday, and when you ask him how old he is going to be, he says 6! ha! And then I ask him if he means two, and he says "two." Josh has been sick recently, but i think we finally have gotten rid of whatever virus he was fighting with for so long. I can't tell you how much a adore my Joshy... and it's so fun to sit back and watch him grow. I don't mean to brag, but he is a natural at so many things, which his father takes full credit for ;) and he's SUCH a great big brother!

Little Isaac is doing so well! He's my 'easy baby' and i love to see the differences in his personality. He's been sleeping through the night for a while now, and he will be three months on Sunday. He's such a happy baby, and so relaxed! At two months, he weighed 15 1/2 pounds! And just yesterday I weighed him on our scale, and it said he weighs 19 pounds! He's a growing boy, and has a double chin that just won't stop :) When Jude first went back to work after Isaac was born, I was so nervous to be alone with both boys, in fear of not being able to handle it... but i have to say, I think I've got it down pretty well now. My parents are such a big help to me, and now that Isaac is a little older, it just keeps getting easier.

I got the boys pictures taken today at JC Penney, and they turned out so great! I'll have to post some when i get the CD. I spent way too much money, it's kind of a scam i think... especially when dealing with pictures of your kids! oh well, you live and learn right? I sure miss not having our photographer friend nearby!

Our little family of four is doing quite well, and I absolutely LOVE being a mommy. It's the hardest, and most rewarding job I will ever have.

Jude's job is going well too, and he's getting the hang of it. The next hurdle is probation, which will be over next March. Never would have thought I'd be married to a police officer! He looks so cute in his uniform ;)

Did i mention we're moving? Ugh... kind of a long story, but we're moving to Brea the first week of June. It should be good in the long run, but I'm really sad to be leaving our home. You get kind of attached to some things, and it makes me sad.

Anyway, Sorry I'm so bad at updating this :)

Here's my sweet boys on Easter

I think this is called nesting...?

In 3 1/2 days we will have our second baby, Isaac Jude. That is so crazy to think about! I find myself feeling very overwhelmed by the thought of it, and yet, I'm anxious at the same time. I feel like i have so much to do, in terms of getting the house ready and cleaned up, so it's nice to come home to from the hospital. I ran a ton of errands today to get last minute things finished up before I'm incapacitated! Grocery shopping and picking up prescriptions and sending out thank you notes from my shower and making sure we have diapers for everybody! ha! Am I really ready for this? I hope so! It feels like we just went through this... and I guess it really wasn't that long ago!

I was cuddling with my little munchkin tonight and realizing how much I'm going to miss him while I'm in the hospital. I have only been away from him for one night at a time... so this is going to be the longest we've been apart. Is it weird that I'm really sad that I'm going to have to be away from him? When we first got pregnant, I was talking to a mom of three, and she said something that has stuck with me, and helped me cope with the fact that I'm going to be away from Joshua: This time in the hospital with baby number 2, is the ONLY time that it is just going to be the three of you alone... so take advantage of it, and don't worry about anything else. I think that might be easier said than done for me!

Please pray for us this next week. More than anything, I'm worried about my little joshy... and how he's going to do without me. haha, maybe you should pray for my parents who have to take care of him!! I hope my recovery is just as easy as my first, and that everything goes smoothly with the delivery etc. Pray that Isaac is healthy and happy, and loves to sleep! :)

5 days and counting

I just really like this picture :)

We have five days until our scheduled c-section. It's a little bit crazy to think about... to wrap my head around. I'm growing increasingly more uncomfortable, but I'm trying to enjoy this time and be thankful that I don't have a newborn right now. I remember being very anxious for Josh to arrive, and then when he was here, I wished I could shove him back "up there" so i could just sleep at night! ha! I have several contractions, but they aren't painful, just uncomfortable. It's so weird how different this pregnancy feels from my first. Some of my friends even tell me that I look different this time around. I haven't taken nearly as many photos this time, mainly because I just haven't thought about it. I do need to take one sometime before Tuesday though... for my belly book :)

Today, we cleaned up the house, and got the baby stuff down from the attic and I'm actually washing all of that stuff right now. Jude and I are both nervous and excited about the new addition to our family. TWO kids?? What are we going to do with ourselves? ha! I'm so thankful that Jude will have almost three weeks off... although, I just might die when he goes back to work!

The weather in SoCal has been so beautiful this past week! We've gone to the park the past two days, and let Joshua play. There were a ton of kids there too, which was fun for him. We fed the ducks and he ran around wanting to pet them :) Those geese sure are aggressive! And then, on our way back to the car, Josh fell right in the mud! He was really upset to have his hands and knees muddy! Too bad I didn't get a picture of him belly down in the mud!

I absolutely love Jude's work schedule! It's so great having him home for three days, and being able to spend time together. Joshua really enjoys it too!

Joshy is getting really good at riding his tricycle, and today for the first time, he wore the bronco jersey that we bought probably 4 years ago for our 'future child.' He looked so cute! And he thought it was SO cool that Daddy had one just like his! I took pictures, so as soon as i download them, I'll have to post some! Very cute!

Jude and I celebrated valentine's day last night, and it was so nice. We went to see a movie and had dinner at one of our favorite places, roman cucina. We both decided we need to really make time for date nights. I know the next couple weeks/months will be a little crazy, but it's something we need to do. I just love valentine's day! Such a great excuse to tell the person you love how much they mean to you. And Jude is very good at spoiling me :)

Tonight we had a lot of fun with Play-Doh! I feel like Josh gets bored with the same old stuff all the time, and I really want to find some activities that are fun, and don't get old (if anybody has any suggestions, I'd love to hear them). So we decided to get some play-doh, and luckily, we found a pack that came with a rolling pin, cookie cutters etc. It was so fun to watch Josh explore with all of that, and play and create. He REALLY liked the toy scissors, and was doing really well with figuring out how they worked. Got to love Play Doh!

Today, Joshua woke up with a runny nose... that's all i need right? A sick toddler with a newborn baby. We're trying to nip it in the bud before it gets worse, but that never seems to work with our son! Please pray that it's just an allergy or something, and it goes away SOON! He also (knock on wood) has been sleeping through the night! SIX nights in a row to be exact! I'm so proud of him, and tell him so every morning! Tonight might be a different story due to his snotty nose, but we'll see.

Anyway... That's all for now :) I always think I'm just going to post a quick something or other, and it ends up being a chapter book! Sorry about that :) If I don't get a chance to post something before our little Isaac arrives, wish us luck, and we'd appreciate any prayers you'd like to send our way!

a little bit overwhelmed

First, a sidenote: In two weeks, we will be having another baby. Just let that sink in for a minute!

Holy Moly!

I'm a part of a women's bible study/mentor program right now, and I absolutely love it! It's so nice to go and be encouraged by women who have been through "this" already, and have such great insight to make us better wives and mothers. This last Saturday, we talked about "Loving our Children" and I walked away feeling so overwhelmed by my job description! I found myself babbling like an idiot when Jude got home from work that day, telling him all that i had learned and all that I want to implement in our family.

I know Josh is still very young, but I think it's so important to start early!

We talked about how we, as parents, set the mood in our home, and is that mood joyful? Do our children feel safe and secure in our home? It should be a safe haven. How our children read our faces for reactions, and take cues on how they should react to certain situations. What kind of looks are we giving our child? And I know for a fact that Joshua already reads my face SO well! How do we want to be remembered as parents and grandparents? Children are a gift from God, and placed in our care. If we love our children, we have to trust that God loves them SO much more. Is the Lord building our house? We are commanded to teach our children the word of God. It's not a suggestion. They asked us to sit down and create five forever qualities that we think are important for our children. We talked about discipline, and consistency, and making sure they know their opinions and feelings matter but that we as parents are to be respected. The best way to lead, is by example. How to make our children feel special. Teaching manners, and what matters the most is how they behave when no one is watching. Memorizing scripture with our kids.

And that's not even everything that we talked about! Now can you see why I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed!? Don't get me wrong, I loved it, and to be honest, I'm kind of excited to start (continue) on this journey. I feel so blessed that God entrusted me with this job in the first place. With Him by my side, anything is possible... now i just have to believe that!

This world we live in is so different from the one I grew up in. And I really want to take the best from my parents example, and change some things as well. I desperately want my kids to remember me as loving them unconditionally. And i want them to love unconditionally as well. I don't want to be judgemental, and I want them to know that their thoughts and feelings are valid. I want them to know joy and hope and see the love between me and Jude. I want family time to be important, and valued. I want to be sensitive, and help them learn how to walk through heartache or pain or whatever hardship they have to go through, and know that I will cry with them. I want my kids to know they can come to me, no matter what. I want my children to be well behaved, and I want to enjoy their company. I want them to know Jesus, and trust Him.

I look at Joshua, and I love him so much. I know I've said this before, but I never thought I could love another human to this degree. I want to soak it all in, and cherish this stage of life. It changes every day, and I know he'll be grown in the blink of an eye. He is such a good boy, and now we have another one on the way! And I know that I will love and adore Isaac in the very same way. Their innocence is so precious to me. I look forward to this next stage of life. And I am up for the challenge to raise them the way God has commanded me to. I know I'm going to screw up, and I know sometimes I will fail... but I trust in God to pick up my slack! I will try my best to raise them in the way they should go, and when they are grown, they will not turn from it.

Who would have thought being a mom was such hard work ;)

Not sure why I thought of this just now, but...

I was so inspired by a speaker named Nick, and I can't remember his last name at the moment... but he was born with no arms or legs...?? Anyway, he was amazing, and i was in tears for most of his sermon. But the hope he has in Jesus is simply astounding. I felt like if I just lived with a TEENY, tiny bit of the hope he lives with, I would be made in the shade.

Just a cute picture :) This was taken a while ago, but I just love it!! My little Joshy :)

Bowling!!

I just had to share... we took Joshy bowling for the first time today, and it was SO cute! He was so excited, and every time he pushed the ball down the lane, he would turn around and hold his arms in the air and say "whoa!" It was precious! And even me, at 37 weeks pregnant, bowled! ha! I might pay for it tomorrow, it felt like quite a work out, but I'm so glad we went. I was kicking myself that I didn't bring my camera... but trust me, it was adorable to watch him bowl!

He also said "please" for the first time yesterday! He has always signed please, and I just kept trying to get him to use his words to say it, and it never kicked in, until yesterday! It's so cute, and he still rubs his belly while saying the actual word, which is adorable.

Isaac is running out of room I think. I'm so achey, it pretty much hurts to walk... which is annoying. I asked my doctor about that, because i didn't experience this with my first pregnancy, and she said it's normal for it to happen the more babies you have. Great right?! How do women have 4, 5, or 6 kids? I don't think I could do it! I'm trying to stay positive, and look on the bright side: at least i don't have to get up every couple hours at night to feed my newborn baby. I remember with Josh, I was SO anxious to have my baby, and then afterwards, I wondered why I was so stinkin' anxious! I just wanted to sleep! ha :)

I'm curious how things are going to change having two kids. I assume it'll be harder, and I'm probably going to have to rely on Jude for a lot more than I ever did with our first child. In some sense, I feel like I'm kinda starting over. Josh is pretty easy, for the most part, and now I'm going all the way back to the starting line! And will I want to do it again, and have a third baby?? I'm not entirely sure anymore :) Of course, I thought that after Josh too... and then somehow you forget all the hard times, and get pregnant again anyway! ha! I guess we'll just see what happens.

My baby shower last Sunday was so nice. I just really appreciate all of my friends and family. It's so nice to feel so loved, and to know how many people care about me and my growing family! It really means a lot to me. And now, I pretty much have everything I need for baby Isaac. We made some returns, and were able to get all the necessities. Now, I just need to go in and clean the room. It feels very dusty to me, so it shouldn't be too much work. I just want it to be nice and clean for him. Meanwhile, the rest of my house feels pretty dusty too, but I'm trying to focus on one thing at a time! My mom said she'd come over and help... so I'm glad I won't have to do it alone!

Jude is really enjoying being on his own at work! His stress level has come down a TON, and he's just happier now. I know it's hard on him, but when he's stressed, it's hard on me too! I feel so helpless, and wish i could do something to help him out! So, I'm about as relieved as he is ;)

Alright, that's all for now :)

Here's a 4D ultrasound picture of little Isaac. His little nose is kind of smushed...

wow, time flies when you're having fun

So, I've been so awful at keeping my blog updated through this pregnancy! Poor second children :) I'm very busy running after Joshua these days, and when i get a minute to myself, the last thing i want to do is get on the computer! So I'm sorry.

Isaac Jude is growing, and growing fast. I'm 36 1/2 weeks along now. We have a scheduled c-section on February 23, at 12:30pm. I'm hoping I don't go into labor before then! Both our baby boys will be born on the 23rd of the month... which is kinda cool i guess! We scheduled it for a Tuesday, just so Jude can have the most time off with me as possible. I'm going to need all the help i can get! At this point, I'm pretty ready to have this baby. Right now, pregnancy is just uncomfortable, and like I've said before... I think God made pregnancy the perfect amount of time, because by the end of it, you're READY to be done! You don't miss it! I've been lucky and had a very uneventful pregnancy. Our little boy is healthy, and everything looks great.

We got a 4D ultrasound of Isaac, and he looks SO much like little Josh did! We put the pictures together and it was hard to tell the difference! At least we know Isaac will be an adorable little boy :)

We've been busy getting Josh's big boy room put together and getting the nursery all ready for Isaac. Once it's done, I'll be sure to post pictures. We kept it the same, but we went with an airplane theme this time. Since the nursery was "outside" we thought it would fit just perfect, but also be a little bit different for our new baby boy. My mom has made an adorable airplane quilt, and made some wall hangings with airplanes and helicopters on them. Jude made some little wooden, toy airplanes too, which turned out great! We have them sitting on shelves.

My mom and sister are throwing me a baby shower this Sunday, which I'm excited about! It's always so fun to get together with friends who love you and love our little baby already. It's also nice, this time around, because i don't need nearly as much stuff as i did before. Which is much less stressful! I went through all of Josh's clothes, and organized them by size... who would have thought we had SO many clothes for just one little boy! They grow so fast, and with every season you need to buy new clothes for them to wear! It sure adds up! Hopefully Isaac and Josh will be on the same size/season :)

Jude's last day of his Field Training Officer Program is tonight! Can you believe it? It's been a long time coming! He will be on his own in his own patrol car starting this Sunday! He's looking forward to that! I'm so proud of him. He's worked so hard this past year to become a police officer, and provide for our family. I just can't tell you enough how PROUD I am of him. He was in the academy for 6 months, graduated on September 11, 2009 and then that next week started his FTO program at the city of Orange. He's been through 4 phases, and now he's done! The next step is getting through his probation (1 year). Jude was Class president in the academy, and at the graduation ceremony, he won the most prestigious award! It was so moving, i had tears in my eyes! He gave a speech and everything. Again... SO PROUD of him. I feel like our boys have such an amazing role model in Jude. I would be so happy for them to grow up and be just like their dad!

Joshua is growing up so fast. He's 20 months now, and everyday I look at him and think, how has my little baby gotten to be so big? He's talking a lot, saying lots of words. He throws and catches a football and basketball. He loves to watch and play hockey. He runs everywhere and just started jumping with both feet off the ground! This week, he started doing somersaults ... which is so fun to watch! He loves having his daddy home more often! Jude has three days off in a row now, and Joshy loves it! In the academy, some weeks he would work all 7 days, so now it's a much better change of pace. Joshy loves so deeply, and I can't tell you what it does to my heart when he comes up to give me a hug and a kiss, without me prompting! Before you become a mother, you have no idea the level of love that you will hold for your kids... it's simply amazing. I feel like i get a glimpse of what our heavenly father feels for us when i look at my son.

Josh is still not the best night time sleeper, but I've come to accept that. I just keep telling myself that one day, I'll have to drag him OUT of bed! ha! It's hard too, because he's gone through sickness, and teething...etc. I just keep hoping it'll get better and better. AND that's why I know that Isaac is going to be a great sleeper ;) I just keep speaking that into existence!

I was on my way home tonight with little Joshy, and for some reason, I thought about my brother. Luckily now, I can think about him and remember him without tears every time. But I remembered how he used to hug me really tight and kiss my cheek... to piss me off usually. And it wasn't just remembering, it was almost like i could feel him hug me while sitting in my car. The feeling was so strong, and it immediately brought a smile to my face. I remembered his facial hair scratching my cheek, and how tall and strong he was. An then I remembered how, when we were a little bit younger, I used to do the same thing to him. Hug and kiss him just to make him squirm. It brought me back to when i was 19 years old, living at home ... with absolutely no idea of what was to come... or how this life would unfold... and of course now, the tears are coming...

I miss my brother. It takes my breath away.

sorry to end on such a depressing note. I love when memories come to me, and I hope that somehow, I can show my kids how important it is to love each other. There is something so special about siblings, and I don't feel like I fully grasped that until "Uncle" Josh was taken from me.

And here are some pictures for your enjoyment :)

This is the three of us at Jude's graduation.

Josh and me in October, when we went to Oak GlenJoshy and Daddy by our christmas tree :)The whole family on Christmas Eve