Definitely Popped

Hello! It's finally Friday, and I am so looking forward to the weekend! This week has actually gone by pretty fast, which is a good thing. Work has been going good, and I've figured out my maternity leave situation, which is quite exciting to me! Our next doctor appointment is next Tuesday, so I'm going to ask her about disability etc. I'm feeling Joshua move around SO much! In the middle of the night, he's a bit of a stinker and likes to kick my bladder, which makes me have to go pee more often. Lovely! I was able to get some more maternity clothes for work this week, which is so much fun, and SO much more comfortable! I got some really good deals from Old Navy, which always makes my shopping experience that much more enjoyable! I actually feel really cute in my new clothes, which is an improvement! Don't get me wrong, i still feel very large, but at least with clothes that are made for my new shape, I feel much better about it! Jude was really sweet and let me have a night to myself :)

Valentine's day is next week, and I've always really loved this holiday! I know it's not really a holiday, but you know what I mean. My mom has been kind enough to offer to babysit overnight! How excited am I?!! We'll be able to get a glimpse of our 'old life' for about 24 hours.

We had a meeting last week with Tyquon's permanant social worker, and then we drove to Long Beach again to visit his mom and grandma last week as well... and I'm pretty hopeful that they can get their act together before the baby comes. I wish there was a way to guarantee that, but for now, I will have to settle for hope. Jude and I are both wanting that for our new family. Good news is, that we will start getting some sort of money from the state to help pay for Tyquon's child care. It's really made money be tight lately, something that we're just not used to. It has taught us a valuable money lesson though... when you HAVE to do something, somehow you make it work. I'm really clinging to that lesson for when the baby comes, and I'm out of work.

Some days I'm still really crabby about the whole situation. But now that there is somewhat of a light at the end of the tunnel, I'm just anxious. This week was busy, so Jude and I haven't had a lot of time alone, and that really makes me cranky. I'm sorry Jude :) I really don't mean to be a turd.

Our little baby Bosco isn't feeling well right now, and it's scarey. If he doesn't get better by next week, we're going to take him to the Vet. If anything happen to that dog, I don't know what I would do. We actually have a lot of health issues in our family right now. My uncle (dad's brother) had a massive heart attack last week, and my grandpa (mom's dad) has been in the hospital for the past two weeks. My uncle looks like he might be able to recover, and my grandpa is going to be able to go home soon hopefully, with a live-in nurse or something. Not that I don't care about these people, but ever since Josh passed away, I seem to be so immune to pain... if that makes any sense at all. Or maybe Jaded is a better way to put it?? I don't know. Kind of weird...

I'm kind of rambling, can you tell I'm bored at work? :) We went to see Tyrone and Erin last night at the Plush cafe in Fullerton. It was really fun, and great to see people perform that you know personally. But every time, Tyrone end with his song "when all is said and done" and I CAN NOT hold it together. To me, it will ALWAYS remind me of Josh, no matter how much time passes. A lot of Tyrone's Snapshot CD reminds me of Josh... for some reason after he died, i couldn't listen to anything but that CD. It was too painful to listen to my normal country music, because that reminded me too much of Josh, but now, almost every song on that CD reminds me of Josh... and brings me back to that day/weeks/months after we lost him.

Anyway, I guess I've rambled on enough :) And plus, I'm getting hungry! ha!

Thanks for reading my crazy thoughts.